This past week, I received a question: “Do you have any Bible verses for when someone says something mean to you?”

It happens all the time. There will always be haters. The perfect song for this is “Shake it Off” by Taylor Swift. When something says something awful to you, try to brush it off and move on. 

But that isn’t so easy to do, is it? Words have power. Even though I love the phrase “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me,” I’m the type of person that gets easily affected by words.

Even my own mother told me when I was growing up, “You can’t let words bother you! They’re just words. Some people don’t mean it, they’re just being silly.” I couldn’t understand how easy it was for people to brush it off that quickly. 

So if you struggle with people telling you negative things or hurting you through words, I think I get it. I hope you can listen to this week’s podcast to get your encouragement, and here’s a bit more:

What helped me to get over people’s offensive comments was to understand a few of these things first:

1. When you’re rising up , or doing well in something, there will always be people trying to pull you down. The better your life gets, the more haters you may get. Again, that’s normal. That just happens, because not everyone will like you. So the more people know you, the more people might not like you. That shouldn’t make you feel bad, that’s just the reality. Some people match, and some don’t. That’s why there are billions of people in the world. Just find your friendship circle, and stick to people that uplift you, not pull you down. 
2. Sometimes the haters are the ones that are hurting. One of the major reasons people are mean to others, is because they themselves are hurting. “Hurt people hurt other people.” Maybe they have trouble at home, or maybe they hate themselves but take that hatred out on another. You might not be the real reason for their pain. You’re just their outlet. 
3. Some people speak before they think, and regret it later. It happens. Nobody’s perfect. Maybe you need to ask “Did you mean this when you said this that time…?” Miscommunication happens. Confirming their intentions might be a good idea before thinking someone hates you?
4. Maybe it’s not the words they say, but the way you receive it? Some people just want to give genuine feedback, and it’s important for us to receive constructive feedback without feeling attacked or emotional about it. If you want to grow in an area of gifting, receiving feedback is important too. Get into the mindset of “Okay, I’ll do better next time.”
5. Choose who you want to be around. Really, you don’t need to be around people that hurt you. It’s your life. Choose and pray about who you want in your life. If there is someone really toxic, for the sake of your health and your family, it’s good to make healthy boundaries and keep a healthy distance. That doesn’t mean you hate that person too, it just means you’re keeping a balance for your own health and future. 
6. Pray for them.
7. Let it go. Stop thinking about it, just keep going and keep doing your thing.
8. Talk to someone you respect and look up to about what they think, maybe a superior at work or a close friend, or brother or sister. But make sure this does not turn into gossip. That could destroy your friendships by sharing that negativity with each person, so try to keep it un-emotional and focus on resolution, not aggression.
9. Forgive first. Forgiving doesn’t mean whatever that person did is right. It means, “I’m not going to let it bother me anymore. I’m not going to be emotional about this anymore. Whatever they’re going through to have lashed out at me, I pray they get over it soon. And I’m going to move on, move forward.” Some painful conversations pop up in my mind over and over and over again. Each time it does, I choose to forgive, and let it go. Sometimes even 100 times! But each time is easier than the last, and eventually it doesn’t have any emotional hold on me anymore, I can be free to be me and move on! Hooray!!

How do you deal with haters or mean comments? Let us know what you think about this topic!

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Thank you~